After working in the woodshop all night and dancing to Justin Bieber smashing my hand with a hammer, James and I decided to stop by the road and watch a massive thundercloud roll in over a field.
James: I’ll bet this storm cloud is scaring the hell out of those cows. I know I’d be scared.
James: I’ll bet this storm cloud is scaring the hell out of those cows. I know I’d be scared.
[I laugh]
James: I’d be like “Holy me!
I can’t even open my umbrella. I’m like the dumbest cow ever.”
Me: “Holy me”?
James: Yeah, cause I’m a cow. Hey…a shooting star.
Me: Remember the first time we saw one together?
James: Yeah. I was 24 before I saw my first shooting star. I
didn’t know stars could get that small.
Me: ....what?
James: Wait…are they not stars?
Me: Um. No. Stars are huge balls of gas in the sky. The
closest one to us is also called The Sun.
James: Oh. I think I knew that.
Me: Shooting stars are actually pieces of meteorite.
James: Stop ruining this for me.
Me: It's kind of like space junk.
James: I want one to hit me in the face.
Me: No, you don’t.
James: Hell yes I do! Hit me right in the face…while I’m in an airplane!
Me: Hand me the water, will you?
[We sit in silence for a moment, watching the lightening
strike through dark clouds]
Me: Isn’t that beautiful?
James: It looks like Satan’s butthole.
Me: How….what?
James: He has to be mad about something eternally, right?
I’d be mad if I had lighting shooting out of my butthole continuously.
[I start laughing and almost fall off the hood of the car]
James: I’ll bet Satan’s butthole is sad and constipated.
Me: Do you hear what you are saying?
James: No. I just fell asleep a little bit.
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