Me: "Really?"
James: "That shit makes me cry. I cannot watch it."
The things I learn about my husband....
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Urban White Trash: He wants to run for office
Urban White Trash: He wants to run for office: James: Jessa, should I become a senator? Me: Ummmmm, no. James: But why not?! Probably 'cause I'm not that responsible, huh? Me: Among o...
He wants to run for office
James: Jessa, should I become a senator?
Me: Ummmmm, no.
James: But why not?! Probably 'cause I'm not that responsible, huh?
Me: Among other things.
James: Wow. That's cold. I could be senator...and do senaty things, and then America would have to obey me.
Me: I'm almost positive that's not how it works.
James: That's EXACTLY how it works.
[pause]
[James looks down at our dog, who is cleansing its genitals furiously.]
James: Just ask Pilot.
Me: Pilot is a dog.
James: Precisely. He is impartial.
Me:....a dog.
James: AND HE WOULD VOTE FOR ME, TOO!
[Pilot ignores the fierce political debates]
[I go back to my book]
[James fumes and mutters threats against the Death Star, the senate, and wookies]
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Urban White Trash: We all need superhero ballons
Urban White Trash: We all need superhero ballons: Two days ago, James went to buy groceries. He came back with a superhero balloon with the Avengers plastered all over it. He is a 25 year old male. It's hung in our h...
Monday, January 7, 2013
We all need superhero ballons
Two days ago, James went to buy groceries. He came back with a superhero balloon with the Avengers plastered all over it. It's hung in our home, falling more and more dejectedly flat each day. Finally, after almost running into it I decided to ask him about it.
Me: I can't believe you bought that thing. Three dollars wasted.
James: I need that balloon.
Me: You don't need a balloon. It's not doing anything.
James: It's doing exactly what I need it to do..just sit there...hangin' out.
Me: It's three dollars!
James: Jessa! Would you rather have three dollars or have a superhero balloon? It's like the Avengers posters, but hanging in the air on a string!
Jessa: I would rather have three dollars to buy things I actually need, not things I want.
James: Jessa, I need that balloon. It's critical. It's not a want...cause it's there.
Me: Just because something is present does not indicate an actual need for it. Like Kim Kardashian...or the Patriots.
James: Why are you saying that. That's a terrible thing to say. Just don't write that. The PATRIOTS are not something you can make fun of....they are part of our family.
Me: Just don't go buying Patriots balloons. You don't need balloons.
James [huffs]: You need tampons, right? Well this superheros balloon is my tampon. Except I don't shove it up my butt.
Me: That's not where tampons go....
James: Well, I know it's the bottom area...
Me: I can't believe you bought that thing. Three dollars wasted.
James: I need that balloon.
Me: You don't need a balloon. It's not doing anything.
James: It's doing exactly what I need it to do..just sit there...hangin' out.
Me: It's three dollars!
James: Jessa! Would you rather have three dollars or have a superhero balloon? It's like the Avengers posters, but hanging in the air on a string!
Jessa: I would rather have three dollars to buy things I actually need, not things I want.
James: Jessa, I need that balloon. It's critical. It's not a want...cause it's there.
Me: Just because something is present does not indicate an actual need for it. Like Kim Kardashian...or the Patriots.
James: Why are you saying that. That's a terrible thing to say. Just don't write that. The PATRIOTS are not something you can make fun of....they are part of our family.
Me: Just don't go buying Patriots balloons. You don't need balloons.
James [huffs]: You need tampons, right? Well this superheros balloon is my tampon. Except I don't shove it up my butt.
Me: That's not where tampons go....
James: Well, I know it's the bottom area...
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