Me: James, did you eat a piece of pie last night?
James: Yes, and it was delicious.
Me: Ugh! You know I made them for the potluck tonight!
James: What? I thought you said I could have some.
Me: I said you could have some if you came to the potluck…now
I can’t take it and don’t have time to make another one.
James [sheepishly]: Sorry. I stopped listening after you said, “I made chocolate pie”.
Me: I. Will. End. You.
James: I’ll make another one!
Me: You hate cooking.
James: No I don’t.
Me: Yes, you do. You don’t like people telling you what to
do, which is why you never read cookbooks.
James: I’d do it this time….’cause love.
James [shoulders slumping]: So I can't keep the pie?
Me: Have you not been listening to a word I've said?!
James: I accidentally stopped listening again. I was thinking about pie.
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