Contraceptives Work Better When Explained

It was late one January night. We got on a bus and made our way to the sweeping, white bridge that jutted over the ocean. Someone needed to go first, find out if there were hidden rocks under the water. Our entire excavate had been my idea; I was the leader, so I would go first.

And so, when the tide was high, the water was icy and adrenalin ran high, I leapt off of the 30-foot bridge into the black, liquid salt.  Below the arch, the cars sounded magnified; the scrape of tires on cement echoed off the water. 

“It’s fine. There aren’t any rocks.” I shouted to the group above.

One by one, they climbed over the railing, faced the water and let go.

Freedom.

My mother learned early on to avoid asking her children questions whose answers might be literal or use grandiose statements like "Eat your peas, there are starving children in Africa." She didn't need to tell us--we fed starving kids. 

When a Sunday school teacher asked the classroom of young middle-schoolers: "If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?" I answered with the foresight my father had taught me.

“It depends," I said. "Is there water at the bottom, and if so, how deep is it? Can the people with me swim? Does someone know CPR?”

I was told to sit down and not be a smart-ass.

I asked because I never actually followed the infamous jumpers. 

I always tried to jump first. 

Leap by example, and all that. (Miraculously, the only bone ever broken was my tailbone, and that was from trying to run up marble steps while wearing rollerblades.) 

For me, it was never about bridges and whether I would jump. Because I have jumped off airplanes, cliffs, bridges, buildings, ledges, rocks, moving vehicles, and can tell you that--if raised right--your child can learn to successfully grab onto a moving vehicle while wearing rollerblades.

Knowledge equals power. Knowing the difference between alcohol poisoning and being drunk is more empowering than instilling the mantra of "Don't Drink and Drive" (which you should never do). Teaching the proper use of contraceptives prevents more births than guilting/scaring kids into false abstinence. Knowing how to properly load and shoot a gun, why re-using needles is dangerous, the difference between crack and meth...this is more important than trying just to keep peer pressure at bay.

Kids are going to jump off of bridges whether parents want them to or not. I sure as hell did.

If I could, I would write to that Sunday school teacher, asking her to respect the intelligence of each 11-13 year old in that room and at least provide us with enough knowledge to empower ourselves. It would go something like this:

Dear Random Lady I Will Never See Again, 

The real danger is not jumping off high bridges, but doing so in an improper fashion. Instead of instilling a life of paranoia, I suggest you tell children the following bridge-jumping techniques:

- Do you like freely using your arms and legs? Do you enjoy walking and having feeling below your neck? Check the water's depth.

- Look around first. Are the people you are with able to help you if you break your leg? Can you stop the activity if something goes wrong? 

- Could you look your friends' parents in the eyes and explain why their child is now a cold corpse? If not, relocate to a safer jumping point.

- Is anyone drunk/high? Yes -- this is stupid. No -- Jump on.

- Point your toes and clench your butt-cheeks together. You are too young to have an accidental enema. 

Sincerely,

Actual Experience Bridge Jumper