Even Small Town DMV Experiences Are Harrowing at Best

I finally went to the DMV to change my driver's license. The lady printed my name wrong twice, so I went to another teller, who was two seats away. I explained that my name had been printed wrong twice, and that I needed to get the full legal name "Jessa Clara Parette Eldridge" onto my driver's license.

Lady: "You want to change your last name?"

Me: "No, my last name is added to my full name, so I have two middle names."

Lady: "Oh, you want your maiden name and last name hyphenated?"

Me: "No, I have two middle names, Clara and Parette."

Lady: "So you want me to replace your middle name with your maiden name?"

Me: "No, my full, legal name is Jessa Clara Parette Eldridge....Clara and Parette are my middle names."

Lady: "Oh, so you want me to hyphen your middle names?"

Me: "See how it reads on my marriage license?"

Lady [reading]: "So you DO want to change 'Parette' to 'Eldridge'?"

Me: "Ma'am, I'm going to make this simple. First name: 'Jessa'. Second names: 'Clara Parette'. Last name: 'Eldridge'."

Lady: "Ooooh, you have two middle names".

Me: "Yes! Exactly!"

[she shouts down the line to the woman who is less than 15 ft. away and twice printed my name wrong.]

Lady: "Donna! Can she have two middle names?"

Donna [typing furiously on an ancient Windows computer] : "No."

Lady [turning to me]: "You can't have two middle names."

Me: "But I do. Legally. It's right there on my marriage license."

Lady [shouting to 'Donna']: "She says her names are legal."

Donna [typing, shouting, chewing gum]: "Our system doesn't have space for two middle names."

Lady: "She says our system doesn't have space for two middle names."

Donna: "You only get one middle name."

Lady: "She says you only get one middle name."



This went on for quite some time.