I don't even know how to title this one...

After working in the woodshop all night and dancing to Justin Bieber smashing my hand with a hammer, James and I decided to stop by the road and watch a massive thundercloud roll in over a field.

James: I’ll bet this storm cloud is scaring the hell out of those cows. I know I’d be scared.

[I laugh]

James: I’d be like “Holy me!  I can’t even open my umbrella. I’m like the dumbest cow ever.”

Me: “Holy me”? 

James: Yeah, cause I’m a cow. Hey…a shooting star.

Me: Remember the first time we saw one together?

James: Yeah. I was 24 before I saw my first shooting star. I didn’t know stars could get that small.

Me: ....what?

James: Wait…are they not stars?

Me: Um. No. Stars are huge balls of gas in the sky. The closest one to us is also called The Sun.

James: Oh. I think I knew that.

Me: Shooting stars are actually pieces of meteorite. 

James: Stop ruining this for me.

Me: It's kind of like space junk.

James: I want one to hit me in the face.

Me: No, you don’t.

James: Hell yes I do! Hit me right in the face…while I’m in an airplane!

Me: Hand me the water, will you?

[We sit in silence for a moment, watching the lightening strike through dark clouds]

Me: Isn’t that beautiful?

James: It looks like Satan’s butthole.

Me: How….what?

James: He has to be mad about something eternally, right? I’d be mad if I had lighting shooting out of my butthole continuously.

[I start laughing and almost fall off the hood of the car]

James: I’ll bet Satan’s butthole is sad and constipated.

Me: Do you hear what you are saying?

James: No. I just fell asleep a little bit.